DDlg (Daddy Dom/little girl) is under the kinky umbrella of BDSM.

In a BDSM dynamic, there’s a power exchange between the players– you’ve given your consent to another person to have power over you.

It’s a form of age play– a fetish or kink where you take on the role of the little (child) and your partner is the Daddy (caregiver). To be clear, this is NOT pedophilia or incest (yuck and double-yuck), it’s roleplaying between two consenting adults.

Actually, it’s a super common kink. 87% of both males and females have engaged in roleplay scenes — DDlg being the most played scenario (Think… “yes, Daddy!”).

Like any BDSM lifestyle, you can make it your own. DDlg is a perfect way to add variety to the bedroom — you’ll feel kinkier, more passionate, and a little taboo. It’ll build intimacy in your relationship and bring you guys closer together.

What’s a “little” or “little girl”?

If you’re a little, you’re embracing your inner child — hence the age-play part of DDlg.

And the ages typically range from newborn to 12. If you’re more of the 13–17, you’re considered a “middle”. And honestly, most players will move between ages depending on the scene, how they feel, or if they’re in public. In this “little space”, you’ll act more childlike and escape the stress of day-to-day adulting.

You want to be cared for and protected by your Daddy Dom — you trust them completely and in return, they know what’s best for you.

FYI — in the BDSM world, you’d be considered a submissive. But, some littles gravitate towards the bratty or bossy side.

You may like to be called “little one”, “babygirl”, “princess”, “little girl”, “good girl”, “kitten”, or “bunny”. Or maybe, you or your partner have chosen another special name for you.

What’s a “Daddy Dom”

They’re the caregiver of the “little”.

They’ll take charge — they’ll praise you when you’re a “good little girl” and discipline you when a rule is broken.

Daddy Doms differ from typical Dominants or Masters because of their “softcore” nature. They will be stern with their little because they only want what’s best for their little one. They’ll be authoritative and compassionate. The Daddy Dom sets up the rules, rewards, and punishments.

Typically, they’re called a “Daddy”, but during play, you might refer to them as “Sir” or “Master”.

So what’s it like living in a 24/7 DDlg dynamic?

We asked Bee.

She’s a little. And she’s gone public. With permission from her Daddy (Teddy), she’s started an Instagram blog detailing the personal experiences of their BDSM relationship.

On a Friday afternoon, we chatted about what it’s like being a little.

She met her Daddy on Tinder. And it wasn’t exactly on purpose. Bee was planning on moving to college, so she put her zip code as that location– and got connected with Teddy. From the beginning, he was upfront about his involvement in the kink community and he wasn’t looking for a vanilla (non-kink) relationship.

“We did a four-month vetting process”. For all you newbies, this is a normal process in the BDSM community where you take your time getting to know a potential partner before entering the dynamic with them. Bee explained it was important to “dig into our past relationships”.

They’ve been together for 2 years (most of it long-distance).

First off, this isn’t for minors.

Bee found kink when she was 10 years old.

Ten. Years. Old. TBH, this isn’t uncommon for young millennials or gen z — they literally grew up with the internet at their fingertips (the good, the bad, and the erotic).

“Growing up on Instagram and technology, you see things you shouldn’t get into when you’re that young”, Bee stated and now she’s “extremely vocal about keeping minors away from kink”.

“Know the difference between this type of relationship and one with a minor” Bee advised, “because that’s not what this is… at all”. She understands the appeal to minors because of the age regression and they think it’s okay to practice, but she was firm “It’s still a kink and it’s still for adults” (begin slow clap… fully agree).

So, what is “little space”?

“Super carefree”.

Bee described, “It’s nice to let everything go…it’s relaxing and I feel more creative in little space”. She admitted she’s not creative in her grownup life — she doesn’t draw or paint. But when she’s little she feels it more. Actually, it’s one of her favorite activities while in a little space — “I like drawing, I don’t think about anything else while I’m drawing. I’m not thinking about my day or next week, it’s super relaxing”.

With their LDR, they’ve added a movie night. Right now they’re doing the Disney checklist and Bee claimed it “pushes my limits on if I can stay in this space (little space) for this long”. Plus, she’s started using bottles and kiddie plates to help push her into little space and so far she really likes them.

“I’m more of a little” but, she confessed, “I definitely think when I’m feeling more middle, I feel more bratty and I’m older.”. Bee recognizes this is most likely due to her age when she discovered kink. She smiles coyly as she admits “I was very defiant and very against everything and adults, so I feel like I can connect to that more”. And honestly, who can’t relate to that??

How did she know DDlg was for her?

Bee revealed, “When I first found out about kink and BDSM it was very hardcore. And I think that’s a lot of people’s first experiences. You go onto a website and there’s just a lot of crying and screaming”. But she wanted to be clear “If this is your thing- that’s okay”. It just wasn’t hers. “Honestly, it was alarming to me” she admitted, however, “DDlg was my level of comfort. It was calming, it was reassuring.” And it supported her Love Language — words of affirmation.

Let’s talk about rules, expectations, and safewords.

In their contract, they have what’s called “Rights and Responsibilities”.

To back it up a bit — yes, it’s completely normal for any BDSM dynamic to have a contract. In fact, it’s recommended. This is part of the vetting process. Both parties come together and spell out exactly how they want the relationship to be.

Okay, back to Bee…

She has the right to safewords and she has the right to call off the contract at any time. In their contract, calling it off means “calling off the relationship as a whole”.

And here are a few rules she must follow…

“If I’m contacted by another man, I have to ask permission to respond back”

“Food rules”. This isn’t a food restriction– she must ask permission to have soda or sweets

Holding hands to cross the street–which she admitted really “helped with feeling little”.

Bee clarified, “It’s more about asking permission for things — that’s the big one”.

Explain your “Pillars”

Bee paused and stared off to the side… ”He’s very poetic in the way he speaks…”. After a few beats, she turned back, slightly blushed — she apologized and said “Sorry, I have a picture of him right here, I was staring at” (Awwwwe, the love). Okay, back to it. “He talks about the foundation of our relationship and we have to have these pillars. And if we don’t, the entire framework will tumble and fall”.

Their “Pillars” are Communication, Compassion, Honesty, Patience, and Understanding.

It’s vital for them to follow their “Pillars” every time they talk or engage in something with each other. Bee admitted, “It’s so easy not to have compassion or communicate…we learned early on it’s super important”.

Maybe we should all have these expectations in our relationships.

They’ve actually done an activity with other couples where they asked them to list as many “pillars” as they could think of. “What’s important to your relationship?” she asked them. In response, they said, they “had no idea what was so valuable in their relationship”. Challenge accepted.

Safewords..? “We have lots, we have 6!”

Six?? And here, you thought one or two were enough… but honestly, Bee’s explanation makes total sense.

Purple. Their version of “red”. This means to stop completely or stop the scene. They might move straight into aftercare or cleanup with discussion.

Polaroid. Their version of “yellow”. This means we need to pause or slow down. She might want to talk or move something around.

Daisy. Bee only wants to be in “little space”. She doesn’t want to be called a slave because this would “take me out of that mindset…the little mindset.”

Corduroy. Bee wants to feel submissive– so leave out the baby talk and cute pet names.

And they have 2 non-verbal safewords (for those kinky times when speaking is limited or impossible).

3 Blinks. This means their play needs to be slowed to a stop but she may want to continue after.

3 Taps. This is exactly the same as 3 Blinks — she needs a break from play to “recollect”.

Bee admitted at first “We couldn’t even remember them” and she “didn’t want to use them”. She would feel guilty because she “wanted to make sure they were both having a good time” and would feel bad when stopping it. So, a fellow kinkster recommended they practiced using them in a scene.

“I was given the advice to just go through a scene and say it. And talk about it and then, keep going.”

Mind blown. This is solid advice for anyone new to the scene. Or if you’re like Bee and feel guilty when using them.

What’s the DDlg lifestyle really like?

The biggest reward? A best friend. “I love my partner so much”, she gushed, “I wouldn’t enjoy the dynamic if we weren’t so silly and goofy”. On a more serious note, Bee added, “To be completely honest… We’re able to go into like a safe zone after a bad day or after a scene. Knowing he’s a safe space no matter what.”.

And the biggest challenge? Bee admitted she “didn’t feel very submissive when I joined this dynamic, but I knew that’s what I wanted”. It was difficult for her to go into little space and she knew he struggled with it too. Bee clarified, “he’s worried about pushing buttons or crossing certain lines. Of being too dominant”. She circled back to their “Pillars”, this is “what our open communication is for”.

It can be hard sometimes with jobs and school.

So, how do they keep the spice alive?

Bee beamed at this question and excitedly answered, “Ohh, we’ve been really good at this lately!”.

“I have 2 jobs, I’m going to school and I have this Instagram”, she cleared up, “So there was so much stress and I didn’t feel sexy. I didn’t find a scene very appealing, so it was very sex-less for a while”. OMG– preach, girl! Who hasn’t kicked their sex life to the curb when life gets them down?

Recently, they’ve been trying a lot of new things with positions. “We have 10 different positions and that gets him feeling super dominant and me feeling very submissive”. She’ll start with a position and see if it guides them into a scene.

They even tried feet stuff “out of nowhere”, she exclaimed and admitted, “Okay, it wasn’t my thing but it was fun to try”. Bee stated, “We’re really good at trying new things”.

Their favorite toys? A paddle and a crop — both made by local artists.

What does their aftercare look like?

Talking. Lots of conversation. And they enjoy bathtime.

“I love my sleep and he knows it”, so sometimes Teddy will put Bee to bed after a scene. They want to create distance from the play session, so they give it some time, “30 minutes to a couple of hours depending on the scene, especially if there was degrading involved”.

Physical touch is essential to him and words of affirmation are important to her.

Advice for newbie kinksters

“Feel out what you want in a dynamic or with yourself” before entering this type of relationship.

“Before you jump in, go to a workshop, find a mentor, talk to people in the community, and go to local events”. Bee advised to “try and hear different perspectives” because “so many people go in and they leave with potential trauma or baggage and awful experiences”.

They decided to share their personal experience because people are curious about other people’s relationships. Through her involvement in the kink community, Bee has learned “you can take a break from your dynamic”. She even met a woman who was “both submissive and outspoken about women’s rights”, Bee admitted she didn’t know a person could be both.

Are you interested?

Check out their account, Teddy and Bee (beeingkinky). Remember, it’s their personal experiences only and not meant to be educational.

The DDlg lifestyle is a great “soft intro” to a BDSM dynamic. It can be easily misunderstood and they’re many misconceptions surrounding these relationships. There is absolutely no shame in exploring a kink. As long as both you and your partner are consenting adults, adding a kink or fetish to the bedroom, may lead you to the best sex of your life.