Do you have the curiosity to try this intense taboo kink?

During a recent comedy set, the comedian asked the audience about being married– one man quipped about his marriage of 37 years! Cue the comedian — “What’s the secret to a 37-year-long marriage?”

The response– anal sex (mic drop). I guess the people have spoken?

So, why do people like anal sex?

Over the last couple of decades, anal sex between straight peeps has spiked. In a 2016 study, researchers were intrigued to learn that 1 out of 3 women has dabbled in anal sex play.

And honestly, it’s not surprising.

Anal sex can feel super incredible. There are tons of nerve endings in and around the anal area– creating a sensitive space just begging to be touched, caressed, and pleasured. In fact, physiological studies (AKA how your body works) show a link between orgasms and your anus. Because your anal sphincters are part of your pelvic floor. So when you spasm from orgasmic pleasure, so does your anus (now you’ll never get the image of your quivering butthole out of your brain– you’re welcome).

In short, anal sex can be an amazing addition to your sexual play repertoire.

Can you have anal sex without pain?

Actually, pain shouldn’t be the norm– If you’re doing it right.

With literally everything new in the bedroom, start with communication. You’ll never go wrong with an honest discussion about your fantasies and how adding new play would be super hot for both you and your partner.

Don’t skimp on the safewords. The traffic light system is a great intro to safewords during your sexual adventures.

Red for “stop” and yellow for “slow down”.

Take it slow and start small– pinky size small. And use wayyyyy more lube than you’d think necessary (trust me, it’s necessary). This will feel different and oh-so tantalizing. As you relax, add more to the penetration- more fingers, a small dildo, or a buttplug. Slowly allowing you to stretch and become comfortable with the experience. If you need to take a break or stop altogether, that’s okay! Sex isn’t always a race to the finish line, the novelty of new things will build intimacy in your relationship.

A beginner’s guide to anal sex– here are 5 tips for a bootylicious time

1. Use Condoms. Women are 17 times more likely to contract an STD during anal sex compared to vaginal intercourse. Even if you’re monogamous– it’s still a good idea.
2. Say no to jackhammer sex. Instead, practice slow and careful thrusting AND use a ton of lube. Going too hard or too fast may cause unwanted tears or anal fissures.
3. Never go from anal to vaginal. You’re setting yourself up for super icky bacterial infections. If you decide to switch things up mid-session, both you and your partner need to thoroughly wash up. This includes any toys used. And change out the condom if you’re using one.
4. Combine it with other stimulation. If you’re feeling extra kinky about things– add some clit stimulation or vaginal penetration during your anal play (heck, try ALL three at the same time). Or hello, three-pronged sex toy goodness.
5. Choose thicker lubes. Water-based lubes are the best for vaginal sexy playtime– but silicone-based lubes are better for anal sex. Your derriere is built to absorb water so water-based won’t last as long. You’re gonna want a nice, thick, long-lasting silicone-based lube to keep the butt playing going.

Okay- we get it, you love anal sex…now what?

Say HELLO to anal fisting!

So, what’s anal fisting?

Anal fisting is a kink- but even it’s considered taboo by the most extreme kinksters.

Do a quick google search and you’ll find porn (literal pages of porn). Titles like “amateur anal fisting”, “extreme anal fisting”, and “fetish anal fisting”- will grace your search history. Sorry, not sorry.

Honestly, these are enough to turn anyone off.

Anal fisting is the sexual act of using all the fingers on one hand to penetrate the anus. So the entire hand will be used to fill, thrust and pleasure the anal canal. And yes, people do this IRL–not just in the porn world.

Newsflash! Anal fisting isn’t just for the menfolk, it’s an equal-sexportunity!

So… why are ladies into anal fisting?

Because it feels uhhh-mazing! Duh.

Seriously, the mere thought of doing something “wrong” or “forbidden” will turn you on. Taboo sex acts can be hot– boosting your sexual fantasy and curiosity.

Do you have a double-penetration or gangbang fantasy? The fullness sensation you’ll receive from anal fisting is similar to taking multiple penises or dildos–or a rather (ahem) large penile specimen. And you’ll skip the emotional toll of adding more players to your bedroom sextivities (unless you’re into that–no judgment).

When it’s done properly, anal fisting can be very, very orgasmic AND fun.

Safety during anal fisting.

Ease into it, this isn’t your first date play activity.

While it’s considered more of an extreme fetish in the kink world, you can safely learn to add an anal fisting adventure to your playtime.

Follow these 6 rules for an incredible, anal-fisting experience.

1. PREP. It’s a bottom–so you might get a little messy, but don’t let this turn you off! Basic cleanliness will go a long way. Before starting, try to clear yourself out (AKA a bowel movement) and wash the area with soap and water. If you or your partner are super freaked out by poop–you can try an enema for anal. The anal enema will flush out all the ick. Bonus tip! Avoid heavy foods up to 6 hours prior to your anal play.
2. LUBE. Lube and you guessed it, MORE LUBE. Don’t forget your regular anal sex rule– stick to thicker, silicone-based lubes. Even though it may be tempting, don’t use a “numbing” lubricant; this could mask any pain if things get too rough.
3. FIST SHAPE. Don’t use a clenched fist, instead press all your fingertips against your thumb, making a cone shape with your hand (picture the Italian emphasis hand). Speaking of the fist, invest in some latex gloves to give the hand a smoother feel. Your bootyhole is sensitive so skip the nail scratches or rough man-hands. Or try a “fisting mitten”. And yes, those are totally a real thing.
4. WARM-UP. Seriously, you won’t want a whole fist up your butt the 1st time you try this. And maybe not even the 2nd, 3rd, or 4th time. And that’s okay! Start with basic anal play–toys or anal sex. Relax your body with a tantalizing rimjob (when your partner orally pleasures your booty). Talk dirty, kinky goodness. Insert one finger at a time and let your butthole slowly stretch. Remember to communicate with your partner–don’t forget those safewords!
5. THRUSTY. Once the fist has fully entered the anal cavity, it’s best to stay put for a while. Your partner will literally feel you relaxing around their hand–letting them explore a bit deeper. So…EVENTUALLY… you can get a bit thrusty with it. Bonus tip! When you’re ready for the big exit–do it one finger at a time to minimize the risk of tearing.
6. AFTERCARE. First off, you’re gonna immediately dash to the toilet. This is completely normal! You just activated all your “bathroom feelings” and your body will want to respond. You’re going to have ALL the feels– you might feel euphoric bliss and excitement OR you might feel shame or an adrenaline dump. OR BOTH!! You can never predict how you’re gonna react emotionally. Take a hot shower or bath and reconnect with your partner. Snuggle, watch your favorite shows, eat comforting snacks or make love. Anything that’ll take care of you- both physically and emotionally.

The bottom (ahem) line

Anal fisting can be an extremely intense and pleasurable addition to your kinky time.

Move slowly and use a ton of lube. This sextivity isn’t for everyone–so enjoy the novelty of trying something new. The communication and patience you share with your partner will boost your intimacy and lead to great sex (one finger at a time).